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What to Do When Your Child Lies

Posted by Informed Families on August 5, 2021 at 11:30 PM

All kids lie, according to Victoria Talwar, Ph.C., associate professor in the Department of Educational and Counseling Psychology at McGill University in Montreal.

“Teaching children about the importance of honesty early and teaching them how to resolve situations so they don’t need to rely on lying will ensure they will be honest—most of the time,” she told Parents magazine.

It can start as early as toddlerhood, when they may have trouble distinguishing fiction from reality. Even handled properly, as we’ll discuss below, it can continue through the teenage years. And, let’s be honest, adults lie, too. (“I’m too sick to come to work today.” “Tell them I’m not here.”)

Don’t overreact

When you catch your child in a lie, it’s important not to overreact, or to take it personally. Lying is normal human behavior, usually used to get something we want or to avoid something unpleasant.

First of all, communication is critical. Try to understand why the child lied. Calmly discuss the situation and help them see why what they did was unacceptable. Ask them if there was a different way to resolve the underlying issue and help them explore alternatives.

If a child lies about doing their homework or hanging out with a crowd you don’t approve of, of course, it requires some kind of consequence. But don’t hand unreasonable or disproportionate punishments out of anger. This just pushes the resentful child toward more lies and evasion in the future

When to get help

If you find your child repeatedly lying about serious issues (drug or alcohol use, for example), it might be time to seek professional help. Such behaviors have can serious consequences, and may require trained intervention.

About Us

We teach people how to say no to drugs and how to make healthy choices. To reduce the demand for drugs, Informed Families has focused its efforts on educating and mobilizing the community, parents and young people in order to change attitudes. In this way we counteract the pressures in society that condone and promote drug and alcohol use and abuse. The organization educates thousands of families annually about how to stay drug and alcohol free through networking and a variety of programs and services .

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