Like it or not, it’s in a teenager’s nature to be impulsive.

Scientists know that it’s built into the adolescent brain’s limbic system to take risks and explore the world. It’s part of starting to break away from the guiding hand of parental authority and becoming independent.

Unfortunately, this biological imperative can lead to such destructive behaviors as drug and alcohol use, reckless risk-taking, and other dangerous conduct. That’s because the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for making sound judgments—doesn’t fully develop until a person’s early 20s.

Offer a guiding hand

While you don’t want to maintain such tight control over your teen that they can’t eventually learn to function as an adult, you have wisdom and knowledge they haven’t yet gained.

So it’s a delicate balancing act between letting them run wild and controlling their every move.

Here are some strategies from psychologists on how to gently provide the guidance they don’t always know they still need.

• Set boundaries. Let them know what behavior you won’t tolerate, and why.
• Focus on the good. Reward positive behavior, such as good grades and other achievements, or instances of showing good judgment, rather than punishing the bad. And do the same yourself: Keep a diary if you have to remind yourself of the good things they do, rather than always focusing on the negative.
• Talk it out. When a teen makes a poor decision, help them see why it was a mistake, and what they could have done differently. Teach them the difference between reacting impulsively and responding thoughtfully to choices.
• Provide an outlet. Teenagers are bursting with energy, both positive and negative, so encourage them to get involved in physical activities that can help them use that energy constructively. And teach them the value of waiting to react to situations by taking a deep breath or walking away from triggers.

As long as they’re living under your roof, you are responsible for them. So give them wings, but let them know you’ll be keeping an eye out for dangers lurking nearby.