Summertime & The Livin' Is Easy...Or is it?

Stress, anxiety, anger, violence and road rage are words that describe the current vibe.  How do we deal with the overwhelming negative environments that confront us daily, either on the news or in our own neighborhoods?

It makes us sad and depressed to see the senseless loss of lives in Orlando (bless those families) and in shootings in neighborhoods across Florida.  Has the world gone crazy?  Maybe.  It is time that we each ask ourselves, “how am I contributing to this craziness?”  Is this catching? The answer is yes.

So how do we raise safe, healthy and drug-free kids in the current environment?  We increase the PROTECTIVE FACTORS and we decrease the RISK FACTORS in our children’s lives.

Our children are listening and watching us to see how they should act and react to all this distressing news. Here are some tips for how to help our kids through tough times.

Sex and Violence Sell, But What's The Limit?

Are you fed up? Are you willing to act?

Calvin Klein debuted a new “Erotica” campaign this month, featuring an image of a photo taken from under a model’s skirt. This “upskirt” ad, not surprisingly, has angered many and prompted The National Center on Sexual Exploitation (NCOSE) to demand that Calvin Klein remove the photo "to stop normalizing and glamorizing sexual harassment." According to Dawn Hawkins ofNCOSE, “there’s a growing trend of sexual harassment where pictures are taken up a woman’s skirt without her knowledge, or without her consent.” Sex sells, but what’s the limit?

Four South Florida teenagers were arrested this month after reportedly taking turns raping an unconscious woman in a hotel at an after prom party.

Children subconsciously believe images and behaviors we allow on screens are acceptable, normal or (heaven forbid) “cool.” Clearly, our social norms and behaviors are impacted by advertising, movies, video games, etc. For example, studies have shown that when teens are regularly exposed to repeated violence while playing video games, they are more likely to demonstrate aggressive behavior.

Common Myths Masquerading As Common Sense

“Underage drinking is a harmless rite of passage.”

Really? Is that so?

“Teaching my child to drink will lead to moderation in the future.”

Ever heard one of these?

“I drank and smoked pot in my youth and lived to tell the tale. My child will too.”

Ever believed it?

“If it’s prescribed by a doctor, it’s harmless.”

Are common myths masquerading themselves as common sense? If enough people around you are saying the same thing, whether it’s true or false, do you start to question your own judgment, knowledge?

“If my child 'parties' and still gets good grades, he/she doesn’t have a problem.”

Our Safe Homes Smart Parties campaign aims to inform and empower parents of underage youth to set guidelines around springtime parties to ensure that drugs and alcohol are not present or tolerated. We know that underage drinking is responsible for 4,300 deaths and 189,000 emergency room visits each year. This isn’t make believe.

“Marijuana is a plant so it’s not harmful or addictive. It’s natural.”

According to extensive research (22 studies) published in the Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs, “parental provision was generally associated with increased adolescent alcohol use and, in some instances, increased heavy episodic drinking as well as higher rates of alcohol-related problems.”

There Is Nothing New Under The Sun

First Lady Nancy Reagan, who passed away last week, tirelessly dedicated her time and energy, during her husband’s presidency in the 1980’s, to shine a light on the nation’s drug problem.

Her “Just Say No” message originated during an event in Atlanta where a child asked her what to do if someone offered her drugs. Reagan replied with the now famous response and the media picked it up. While we can all agree that it’s not easy to say “no” and the latest prevention science provides us with more comprehensive and effective ways to educate and inspire children to make healthy choices, the message was clear: our children have a right to grow up safe, healthy and drug free – and we have the responsibility to make that happen.   

At the time, some people heard the message, some people didn’t hear the message and others didn’t like the message. The same is true today. There is nothing new under the sun. Scientists continue to identify dangers of marijuana use, states who have legalized it are seeing a rapid increase in use among youth – and yet, the legalization trend is not slowing down. Prescription drug use and heroin use are epidemics we can no longer ignore.

Below is a formal statement from Informed Families and the National Family Partnership mourning the loss of our friend Nancy Reagan. We appreciate all of her support over the years. We also appreciate and thank each of you, our readers and supporters, for your dedication to helping kids grow up safe, healthy and drug free.

Peggy

Informed Families Is About Drug Prevention, Not Drug Abuse

Please repeat this 7 times and then ask, “What’s the difference?” “How do I learn Prevention?”

After several phone calls from friends and family telling me to make sure I watched “Chasing Heroin” on Frontline, I tuned in and now I’m asking you to please watch “Chasing Heroin” on Frontline.  It will definitely debunk a lot of myths that society has created about who uses drugs, why they use drugs and how people get out of addiction.

Actually, Informed Families could have written the show; several of the speakers are professional colleagues and good friends. I’ve served on both The White House Office of Drug Control Policy (ONDCP) and National Institute of Drug Abuse at NIH.  I have tremendous respect for Dr. Tom McLellan, a great researcher and former head of Demand Reduction at The White House ONDCP.  Tom is great person and parent when he levels and admits that all the researchers still don’t know where to send a kid when he/she has a drug problem. Tom lost a son to drugs.  Hats off to the brilliant Dr. Nora Volkow, head of NIDA, when she says, “no one has all the answers about the brain.”

Dabbing: "You Are All Crazy, It's A Dance!"

From the moment we hold our own baby in our arms, we have a deep instinctual desire to keep that baby safe.

We read all the “latest” info on child development, never thinking that maybe the old tried and true that our Mothers told us might be best.  Sometimes, as a parent, we become fatigued from repeating the same message…think of having a 2 year old or a teenager.  Well, imagine being a grandparent and still wanting to keep your children and grandchildren Safe, Healthy, and Drug Free!  Exhausting.

I received a long, descriptive definition about the “latest” drug trend, Dabbing. I was perplexed about how to handle the information. The dilemma: if we broadcast all the particulars, will it give some enterprising kid an idea to try it?

Well, as usual, I tested out the message on my family.  New technology gives us the power to connect to everyone through text chats.   So on one of the family exchanges, I casually asked, “does anyone know what Dabbing is?” The exchanges ranged from dabbing as a verb with a cotton ball, to a dance, to a drug.

What Is Silent Disco?

Turns out this is an age-related question! If you are in college or into the club scene, Silent Disco is normal; if you are older, you are likely scratching your head and saying, “WHAT’S Silent Disco?”

The answer includes all the old images: mirror ball, strobe lights and loud music, but the loud music is now contained within your own headset. I first experienced this new phenomenon while visiting my grandson for a family weekend in Boulder, Colorado. When we asked if the music was the same song (oops, I mean "play list") on everyone’s headset, we were greeted with a look that said, “What a quaint idea, why would we want to do that?”

So folks, you’ve heard and read about the breakdown of society in “Bowling Alone.” We are now taking societal breakdown to another level: DANCING ALONE WHILE IN A GROUP. No need for eye contact, or coordination of movements… just do your own thing and believe you’re interacting with others. Dance has traditionally been about communication and closeness; in silent disco, dance is all about YOU.

Giving Thanks & Giving Gifts Are Similar

Thanksgiving signifies a time of gratitude for all things. As we gather with our families for delicious dinners prepared with the best trimmings, we reflect deeply on what truly means the most to us and express gratitude for those things.

Giving thanks and giving gifts are similar...and they may be one and the same. They are the flow of love and gratitude. If you are not sharing love and gratitude, it is easy to become stagnant and stressed, which is not healthy.

This is the season when merchants really push us to say thanks and give gifts their way. I encourage you to consider a different way to say thank you and to give gifts — sit down and write someone a note and share your appreciation for what they have done in your life. It is not just a gift to the person receiving your note but it will be a gift to you because it will make you healthier and happier. Why? Because giving and receiving are part of the same spiritual energy. When and what you give will be returned to you many fold.

Social Media Demonstrates Power of Grassroots during Red Ribbon Week®

30 years have passed since DEA Special Agent Enrique “Kiki” Camarena was kidnapped, tortured and killed in Mexico. Kiki’s tragic death led to the creation of the Red Ribbon Campaign®, now the oldest and largest drug prevention program in the nation. The National Family Partnership (NFP) turned Red Ribbon Week into a national event in 1988 and has sponsored it since that time. Many of you know that I’m proud to serve as NFP’s Volunteer President.

Times have changed since we started Red Ribbon. Red Ribbon Week is stronger than ever and I believe the internet and social media play a huge role. This year’s theme, created by a middle school student in Solon, Ohio, is “Respect Yourself. Be Drug Free.” The internet and social media are allowing us to see, in real time, many of the Red Ribbon Week activities, curriculum and events taking place in schools and communities across America. Parents, students, educators and community supporters from across America are sharing pictures, videos, ideas, articles and other content on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest, featuring this year’s theme.

Additionally, NFP thanks the agencies, organizations, and businesses who are doing their part to spread the message. Fran Harding, director of the Center for Substance Abuse Prevention, and Chuck Rosenberg, acting administrator of the Drug Enforcement Administration co-authored a blog (shared below) entitled “Red Ribbon Week Reminds Us to Respect Ourselves by Living Drug-Free.” Discovery Education is hosting a Red Ribbon Week themed “Virtual Field Trip” and over 5000 educators and students will be viewing a lesson on Thursday. The National Institute on Drug Abuse is sharing tools for Red Ribbon Week, including interactive games and videos. Community Anti-Drug Coalitions of America blogged about our 5th Annual National Red Ribbon Photo Contest.

Are you a Control Freak or do you play the role of a Clown or Hero?

Have you noticed how obsessed we are with our phones, being connected, texting, etc.? When someone is talking, is your brain busy developing a response; making sure to say “don’t forget this or that”?

We’ve become human doings rather than human beings. We try to fill every minute with doing something. Even relaxation is planned, attended and instructed.

When was the last time you sat down and took a good look at your family dynamics? Family Day is a good time to start.

In families, we learn “give and take” but our different temperaments create a dynamic where we learn to side step other people’s personalities and behavior. For example, the bossy person usually never sees that they are bossy…they are just trying to help. The rebel is unsuspectingly pushing to distinguish him/herself from the overachiever. The “family clown” doesn’t realize he’s uncomfortable and subsequently trying to lighten the mood.