Are You AWFULIZING or ACTUALIZING?

It is important for us to see and own our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. All three have a direct impact on those around us and shape the environment in which we live. They especially effect our children.

The beginning of the new school year is the perfect time to modify our thoughts, feelings and behaviors to create positive surroundings for our kids.

One of my favorite books is Our Children Are Watching by Susan Ford Collins. Susan taught a course on success filing, a skill that helps to get that awful, nagging voice out of our head. You know the one…the one that tells you that nothing is ever good enough. The awfulizing voice goes through a litany of what’s wrong…from the weather to the traffic to fill in the blank.

GOT PURPOSE? INTRODUCING THE RED RIBBON WALK & WRAP™ 

INSTANT GRATIFICATION CAN MAKE YOU EAT YOUR FACE

“Users don’t know what they are buying. Dealers don’t know what they are selling.”

During our June webinar about 2015 Emerging Drug Trends, renowned epidemiologist Jim Hall shed light on the dark world of synthetic drugs. According to Dr. Nora Volkow, director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse, synthetic drugs are “substances chemically similar to and/or that mimic the drug-like effects of controlled substances.” The drugs impact the central nervous system and can have stimulant, depressant and/or hallucinogenic effects.

Jim receives his information about the latest drug trends from a variety of sources, including data from emergency phone calls to poison control centers, crime scene investigations and medical examiner reports. In the first four months of 2015, 1,900 exposure calls were received by poison control centers about synthetic marijuana, also known as cannabinoids.

THE SPEECH NEVER DELIVERED AT JOE'S

Can I get an A-M-E-N?! No, this isn’t a religious discussion; it is why people love our Joe’s dinner: NO SPEECHES. We just finished our 30^th Annual Informed Families Dinner at Joe’s Stone Crab Restaurant – and it was the most successful fundraiser we’ve ever had.

Thanks to our Co-Chairs Extraordinaire Phillis Oeters of Baptist Health South Florida and Anita & Ron Shuffield of Esslinger-Wooten-Maxwell Realty International/Christie's International Real Estate whose combined enthusiasm, dedication and great skills could move mountains, we raised close to $350,000 to support our statewide prevention programs, save lives and help kids grow up safe, healthy and drug free.

If you’ve ever attended our Joe’s dinner, you know that the event is fantastic, complete with local celebrity sightings, a lively pre-dinner social and Joe’s signature stone crabs and legendary service. What you have never witnessed at a Joe’s event is a speech.

PARENTS, WHERE DO WE DRAW THE WINE?

Heroin. Meth. Cocaine. Ecstasy. While dangerous and scary, these are not the most popular drugs among our children. So what drugs are the most widely abused?

Drum roll please…the most widely abused drug is Alcohol, a legal drug.

People don’t change alcohol and drug use behaviors based on scare tactics or logic; they change when they start to see and acknowledge the cultural code that is pushing unhealthy behaviors.

People use drugs based on their perception of harm and the availability of the drug. So certainly alcohol is the most available and surely it won’t harm you; the government has legalized it!

According to Mothers Against Drunk Driving, data from a national survey of high school students shows that teens who receive a message from their parents that underage drinking is completely unacceptable are more than 80 percent less likely to drink than teens who receive other messages.

PARENTS NEED TO LEARN FROM EACH OTHER

Helen & John Witty’s 16-year-old daughter, Helen Marie, was rollerblading on a bike path when she was struck and instantly killed by a car full of teenagers who were under the influence of alcohol and marijuana. These kids were celebrating graduation at an unsupervised home prior to getting in the car. The driver’s future now included years of jail time and forever living with the knowledge that she killed someone. Think for a moment. You could be the parent of the victim or the parent of the driver of the car! Safe Homes Smart Parties® is not about someone else’s child.

WHY SMART KIDS DO DUMB THINGS 

11 Wesleyan University students were hospitalized on Sunday after overdosing on Molly, a “pure” form of ecstasy or MDMA, which has increased in popularity among teens in recent years. Two of these students are in critical condition.

"I think that's why it's so shocking because it feels like that could never happen to anyone that you know," Emma Soloman, a Wesleyan freshman, told Connecticut news station WVIT. "It's like no one is going to overdose, you know? Because it's so common, but then when it's in that grand of a scale, it's scarier."

According to the most recent National Survey On Drug Use & Health, about one in eight 18-25 year olds have used MDMA in their lifetime.

When did ecstasy become so “common” on college campuses? How do we protect our children from unhealthy and dangerous norms? Furthermore, how can we equip our kids with tools that will help keep them safe, healthy and drug free when most kids do not believe bad things will happen to them?

DOES ADVICE DO MORE HARM THAN GOOD? 

From the moment our children are born, we are faced with decisions, both important and mundane. Do we breastfeed or formula-feed? Cloth or disposable diapers?

Perhaps one of the most common and important concerns parents face after we have a child is HOW TO GET THE BABY TO SLEEP! So we turn to family, friends, experts, bloggers, books and even if we aren’t looking for help, people frequently offer unsolicited advice!  And what do these sources tell us? Tons of conflicting advice. Even today’s “latest research” can contradict yesterday’s “latest research.” Here’s an excerpt from a hilarious blog, entitled “I Read All The Baby Sleep Books,” by Ava Neyer.

 “You shouldn’t sleep train at all, before a year, before 6 months, or before 4 months, but if you wait too late, your baby will never be able to sleep without you. College-aged children never need to be nursed, rocked, helped to sleep, so don’t worry about any bad habits. Nursing, rocking, singing, swaddling, etc. to sleep are all bad habits and should be stopped immediately… Naps should only be taken in the bed, never in a swing, carseat, stroller, or when worn. Letting them sleep in the carseat or swing will damage their skulls. If your baby has trouble falling asleep in the bed, put them in a swing, carseat, stroller, or wear them.”

Is that a riot or what? Talk about “Analysis Paralysis.” That decision alone can make any of us crazy if we don’t just listen to our instincts. WHAT DID PARENTS DO LONG AGO when they couldn’t read or access this information? Do parents know more than they think but are afraid to trust their inner knowledge?

As Malcolm Gladwell shares in his book, Blink, experts (and I would add, parents) often make better decisions with snap judgments than they do with a great deal of analysis.

So, does advice do more harm than good? I would argue, “no,” as long as we put it in its proper place instead of letting it overwhelm and confuse us.

As a mother and grandmother, I can tell you that decisions affecting our children (and grandchildren) do not go away and over time as children get older, the issues can become even more complicated. Sure, we can always benefit from hearing different people’s perspectives and sharing our own with others (that’s part of the fun of being in a parent peer group), but ultimately, we have to listen to ourselves. The answers, if we listen closely enough, are usually within.

Sincerely,

Peggy

PS. If you take one piece of advice from me this month, let it be to Lock Your Meds; secure your medication, take regular inventory to be sure nothing is missing, safely dispose of unused meds and spread the word to family and friends. There’s a prescription drug abuse epidemic in our country.

IS THE PACE & STRUCTURE OF LIFE MAKING US CRAZY?

It’s December again and we are rushing around in a frenzy. We have gifts to purchase and wrap, parties to attend or to host, trips to plan, lines everywhere in airports, stores, on hold on the phone, traffic to fight, work to finish… on and on and on. WE ARE STRESSED BUT WE ARE CREATING OUR OWN STRESS!!!!

With all the things we are trying to achieve in our personal, family and professional lives simultaneously, we are succumbing to our unnoticeable addiction to technology. Have a free moment? Check your phone. Stopped at a light? Check your inbox. Waiting in line? Visit Facebook.

Does this describe you? If not, I commend you and encourage you to keep up the good work. For those of us who I’ve just described, I have a great solution that doesn’t cost money or require much time. Stop holding your breath, relax, release and breathe.

Give yourself the gift of disconnecting from all the technology and the “doing” and take some time each day to just sit and breathe. Invest your energy in appreciating the people around you and all the wonderful blessings you have in your life. Spend technology-free time with your children – play a board game, visit a park, take a walk, work on a puzzle, make cookies or just sit and talk. Everything else will be waiting for you when you return to your hectic life.

From all of us at Informed Families to you and your families, I wish you very happy, healthy, meaningful and stress-free holidays. We appreciate you and your unwavering support for helping kids grow up safe, healthy and drug free. Remember, Love Yourself!

Sincerely,

Peggy

IS THERE ANYTHING WE CAN ALL AGREE ON?

Every day, our society becomes more perplexing to me. I question many of the values being promoted and espoused in America in 2015; however, I think there is one thing we can all agree on: the importance of family.

Family is something we hold dear. That hasn’t changed. We need the support system it provides. Even individuals from dysfunctional families appreciate the beauty of building a new paradigm of family for their own children.